I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I did. Our Courtney came home and stayed with us for the majority of the time. A much needed time together. Ronnie and I love her so much.
Courtney gave me a book called “Jesus Calling”. It is a 365 day devotional. The Author, Sarah Young, wrote it as if it is Jesus talking to you each day. I absolutely LOVE it and recommend it to each and everyone of you.
I was so excited to start reading it I couldn't wait until January 1, I started on December 27.
We will come back to the book I need to tell a story first.
I think you all know me pretty well by now. I believe I am an honest person and all I want in life is for my family, friends, and you all to be happy and go to Heaven with me. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
But there is something I have been struggling with for about 5 years now.
You know, when Kelsey passed away that night, Courtney, Ronnie and I were standing there hugging each other. I’m sure I’ve told you this before. But I’m telling it again. My sweet 17 year old Courtney, looked at Ronnie and I and said, “Please he have to promise each other that this won’t break our family apart.” We all agreed that it wouldn’t. As you know statistics were against us. But with the Lords help, we have been able to keep the 3 of us, our little family together.
But, I know the day that Kelsey passed, we lost my mamma. She was NEVER the same again. My sister, Debbie and Daddy say it all the time. Losing Kel, broke my mamma.
But that is not the only thing that broke in our family. I lost someone else. My best friend, the person I could tell anything to, the person who always stuck up for me growing up. And to me, that is the second hardest thing I have had to deal with all these years. The first being the loss of Kel. I feel like this person passed away too.
I have tried to get them back but there is nothing more I can do now. I just want them to know if they are reading this, I love them and will love them until the day I die.
I know I need to give this to the Lord. He is my strength. I can not heal from this on my own. So I lift it up to Him.
Back to the book my Courtney gave me…
For December 28 Sarah writes: Remember she writes as if Jesus is talking to us…
“ I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present Help in trouble. Therefore, you don’t need to be afraid of anything-not even cataclysmic circumstances.”
She goes on to say, “ As you grow closer to Me, I open your eyes to see more and more of My Presence all around you. Things that most people hardly notice, like shifting shades of sunlight, fill you with heart bursting Joy. You have eyes that see and ears that hear, so proclaim My abiding Presence in the world.
I can’t tell you how true this last paragraph is. I see, hear things that I never saw or heard before. And they were right in front of me all the time.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-resent help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with surging."
So in closing, I just want to say that there are things in your life you just can’t fix. You need to lean on God. Give it to God and let Him fix it. Maybe it is never to be fixed. Only God knows this. Remember, He is your strength. Your Refuge. He is MUCH stronger than any of us are. So lean on Him. Trust in Him… I know I am.
My prayer to each and every one of you as always is that you ask the Lord to come into your heart. That you have the relationship with him that I have. That we all meet in Heaven one day.”