At my Daddys church the preacher preached from the book of Joshua. One verse stood out to me. I have read it before but it really stood out on Sunday.
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Be STRONG and COURAGEOUS…..
That is sometimes hard to do. But if you pray, talk to the Lord I promise from the bottom of my heart He WILL hear you. He WILL help you. Sometimes the answer may not be what you want, but He knows best. Remember, He knows where you life is going to go if you follow Him.
I didn’t get the answer to my pray that I want 6 years 7months and 13 days ago. He chose to take Kelsey Home with Him. Be Strong and Courageous was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. Shock and Disbelief is more like it. I have said this a MILLION times and I will say it again. I was NEVER angry at God. How could I be. His heart was broken just as bad as mine when Kelsey passed. And I knew/know she is Home. How can you be angry knowing you have one child tucked away safely in Heaven.
I’d have to say it was over a year, when the fog started to lift. The second year was the hardest for me because of the fog lifting and me really understanding that Kel wasn’t coming home. I had made myself think that she was just at a friends house. I guess that is how I coped with it. But the second year, I realized she wasn’t coming home. Home meaning our house. Because she was with the Lord.
I think it was then that I started to be STRONG and COURAGEOUS. I started speaking and getting the law going. I created KDR Challenge. But I couldn’t have done it without the Lord’s help. He made it possible for everything to fall into place. He made me STRONG and COURAGEOUS.
Do NOT be AFRAID or DISCOURAGED……
I was afraid. But afraid of what would become of our family, my life, how was I going to live without Kelsey. How was I going to start this new journey. This new “Normal”. I stumbled with this. I fell several times. At times still, I am afraid that I won’t go to Heaven and be with the Lord and Kelsey. But I have to keep reminding my self that this is the Devil telling me this.
You know, my biggest Fear in life was that someone would take one of the girls. Kidnap them. Just ask Courtney. They could not go in the front yard to play because I was afraid a car would pull up and take on or both of them. I LOVED them both so much, I knew it would destroy me if I lost one.
When Kelsey passed that was one of the first thing’s that crossed my mind. My biggest FEAR came true. I lost one. But, this was different then having a stranger take her. The LORD took her. Which was much different. I knew where she was and I knew she was safe.
For the LORD GOD WILL BE WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO……..
What a wonderfully feeling to know that He is with us wherever we go. I have said this before that I can sometimes feel His arms or the angel he has sent to comfort me wrap their arms around me and hug me. My heart fills with peace and joy when it happens. I can not describe it to how it feels. It’s just so peaceful.
You know I have wrote about this scripture and how it pertains to my life. My life of losing a child. (and step daughter, which I do not consider Annie to be my daughter). How I need to not be AFRAID, but be STRONG and have COURAGE. Maybe you haven’t lost a child. Maybe it was a parent, friend, grandparent, spouse. Maybe you are trying to stop drinking or using drugs. Maybe you are going through something in your life that you need to be reminded of this scripture. Be reminded that “The Lord God WILL Be With You Wherever You Go!!!!!!!! What an amazing feeling.
I pray that if you do not have a relationship with the Lord that you begin to have one. I pray that you let Him come into your heart and help you to be Strong and Courageous. You see with the Lord, you can do anything.