I fly to North Carolina next week to be with my friendwho lost her 22 year old son 2 months ago. We have been friends since the 9th grade. As I was on Facebook last night I noticed she posted she needed prayers for her cousin and their family. So I asked her why. Her cousins son passed away (only 35). He lost his battle.
I told her I couldn't believe everything that is happening in her life and mine. Losing our children, losing our mammas, and now she loses a close family member. I told her I HATED this world. And I meant it.
Ronnie had to play last night so I went out to my safe place, the playhouse, with my Bentley. I was laying on the futon listing to the bible on my phone. AskingGod to please take care of this family. Asking him to take care of my Sherrie and her family. Asking him to take care of my Courtney, my daddy, my Ronnie, my sister's,and brother. Asking him to PLEASE take care of everyone I love. (Which is everyone,. Including whoever is readying this.)
Today I go for my walk, listening to my iPhone songs. And you know how God gives me signs ALL the time. I swear he gives them to me to pass on to all of you. To get you all to BELIEVE so you can go HOME with me someday.
Anyway, Mathew West (my all time favorite song writer) his song "The Reason For this World" came on. Now, I have heard this song a MILLION times, BUT this time I really listened to the words. Every single word.
Remember I'm hating this world and wondering why? Why all the pain and suffering. Here wash my answer. I believe from God.
The Chorus Goes>>
"But maybe the reason for the pain Is so we would pray for strength And maybe the reason for the strength Is so that we would not lose hope And maybe the reason for all hope Is so that we could face the world And the reason for the world Is to make us long for home, home, home,"
So you see, all this pain is to get us closer to God. Get us to lean on him. Get us to ask him for help. Get us to live for him.
I know that I will go HOME some day to be with all my love ones (Especially my Kelsey and Mamma) and with God. I know I can't wait for that day. I pray for each and every one of you that you to will be there with me. HOME. This world is NOT HOME. Heaven is and trust me, you are going to LOVE it there.